Stronger

Sam/19/artblog/fell in love with a robot and can't take it back.

Yu Yu Hakusho / Homestuck / DMMD / Daft punk / Silent Hill / Dead Space / DMC / Def Leppard / In the Flesh / Monster characters

Occasional NSFW

CURRENT ACNL FUNDRAISER GOAL:113/500 387 USD NEEDED

Deviantart inspiration blog Weasyl Commission info fandom blog music tag

Guess who miiiight be apprenticing at a tattoo shop.

*plays the other silent hill games whilst thinking solemnly about the new one*…………………

hypnictwitch replied to your post“Henna smells so nice”
are you huffing ink be honest
you got me
Anonymous sent: I just want to say thanks for the messages about loving yourself, because of a skin disease I started hating myself and slowly I'm starting to love myself again but such messages make me happy and continue loving me, so really, thank you!

Oh wowowow ah this means so much to me to hear something like this! I can completely understand the whole hating yourself on a physical and emotional level kind of thing.

(You didn’t ask for story time b I’m sharing a little bc you shared with me!) I’ve had some really awful periods almost every month for the past 9 or 10 years, and because I wasn’t replenishing blood fast enough, and on top of severe social depression and anxiety, I eventually ate less and less and it wasn’t helping my already low blood supply. So basically, about two years ago or probably earlier, I became anemic. I have naturally wide hips and a uh large bottom, but I was totally unhappy with how bone-y I got and with how my thighs decreased in mass. Besides that, there were tons of things about my body I was insecure about, from my unhealthy hair, to my acne covered face, my weird poultry legs, my bulbous nose, my pasty skin, my butt chin, the stretchmarks or discolorations on my skin- There was a time in life where that kind of stuff bugged the hell out of me. I wasn’t like other girls, I wasn’t pretty or perfect, or what everyone else deemed to be attractive. I was some girl with dandruff, oily skin, and anything else you can name under the sun that would make someone insecure about themselves.

But you know what, eventually, there came a point in my life when I learned that I couldn’t live with what I hated. I couldn’t be happy if everyday I looked in the mirror, hated what I saw, and hated who I was. I knew I had to be okay with the me that I was in that moment in order to love the me in the future. I also knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere with my anemia if i just continued to be depressed or let my anxiety get to me. So, after a lot of emotional pain and like….. 6 months of laying in bed everyday and hating everything and being upset that I couldn’t love myself like I wanted to, I just stopped thinking so hard about it. Love isn’t something that you can force. It comes over time, it happens in the moment, you say it without thinking about it and when it comes out by accident- you cover your mouth. You don’t know where it came from, you’re not used to the bubbling happiness inside of you that comes with realizing you love yourself.

There’s someone who would tell me everyday if he had the chance that I’m beautiful. I could never do it myself, I didn’t have the heart to try the whole “say something over and over and you’ll begin to believe it” thing. And yet over and over it was said, until one day I just believed it. I just said, yes, I am beautiful. I believed it. I saw all of my flaws and they were mine, they were what compiled together to be me, as a human. All of my flaws are what people who love me see everyday. They see my face and their heart fills with love, because it is the face of someone dear to them. So I figured, hey, this is the body I’m stuck with my entire life, this is the body that has been there for me since day one and god damnit if I don’t think it’s beautiful than what kind of a person would I be to hate who I visibly am? So, okay as I was with my… not so okay body, I set little goals for myself as rewards for making it so far in life and for not falling when I was at my lowest but instead climbing back up.

And, for a long time, I’ll be the first to admit that, even though I was okay with my body, I hated myself. But I knew I would get nowhere with that. I’d get nowhere by being unhappy with how i can’t control my anxiety and my thoughts. To be quite honest, for the first time in my 19+ years of life, I love all of who I am. I love who I am and it happened because I wanted to be happy. I wanted confidence, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be like all of my role models, but it was something that had to come with time.

I make these little cliche posts about loving yourself and about how to because I had to find out on my own how to do it. I went through a lot of emotional damage and mental shit that I don’t want anyone else to go through. So I tell you, you’re the most important thing to yourself. Not your crush, not your family, not your pet. You are the most important thing to yourself. Be as beautiful as you want to feel. Be that. A you that loves you should be your biggest biggest role model. When you love yourself, you’re not afraid to be alone, you can see the beauty in being lonely, the warmth that comes from the blood pumping through your veins and to your heart. When you love yourself, you look in the mirror and even if you look like shit you can say you look like shit and you can feel totally fine about it. Bc you know what? ppl aren’t fuckin foolin when they say you look fine or okay or beautiful. And god damnit if you believe that you’re beautiful then it’s like this whole weight lifts off your shoulders and if someone says you’re ugly you just brush it off and don’t care at all and it’s amazing and it’s so vein but so amazing because there’s so much strength in self love.

And you knOW FUCKIN WHAT??? IF MY POSTS MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPIER ABOUT YOURSELF THEN I’LL KEEP MAKIN THEM BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW YOU PROBABLY BUT I WANT YOU TO LOVE EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU RULE THE ENTIRETY OF THE UNIVERSE AND YOU FEEL SO POWERFUL AND AMAZING AND EVERYONE (except this one girl i don’t like) DESERVES TO FEEL THAT WAY AND I CARE ABOUT U SO LIFT THAT UNIVERSE I AM GOING TO BED YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL GIVE THE LOVE TIME BC YOU CAN NEVER BREAK UP WITH YOURSELF YOOOOOO B)

Henna smells so nice

Anonymous sent: Oh yeah, you can definitely store those in a mini box and have them tuckered away.

weeehhh thanks a lot for discussing this with me, i’ve talked about it with a few other people and I’ve only been positively encouraged! I have a couple of more days to think about it, so I’ll definitely give it some more serious consideration tomorrow.

Anonymous sent: You'll be fine. No one will ever find them in your room, especially if you have it tucked hidden away. Curious, but what does the set you want look like?

Oh man I hope so. I’ve already devised the plan of showing my mom a bunch of random things I have and saying it’s what I ordered (like putting them in the box after I’ve stowed them away and then showing if she asks)

It’s this one

Don’t ever force yourself to love yourself, just be okay with who you are and the love will come naturally with time.

Anonymous sent: Just hide it in between clothes or deep in your closet. Granted that's if no one checks in there regularly besides you. Or make a small toy box or chest, then have it tucked in somewhere in your closet.

Weeeeh i’ve been told those exact things and like yeah you’re right b paranoia q~q weeehhh

Do you know why people always tell you to love yourself first and foremost if you want to be happy? Because loving yourself is like that feeling you get when you do something just to make yourself feel good but every second of every day. Like buying a refreshing face mask or skin cream or treating yourself out to some yummy food because you deserve it and it’s just for you and no one else. And there’s a sort of power that comes with that, a confidence and it feels incredible.

Anonymous sent: I say, just buy it. If you wanted it for that long, then go for it!

you’re riiiiiight but i’m so nervous about finding a place to hide it and *whispers* i won’t really be able to use it for a long time Q<Q

jax-fandango replied to your post“jax-fandango replied to your post“I’m gonna buy that pink bondage set…”
I apologies for the vagueness in my ask. My real question is why you need to mention about it?
bc it feels like more of a commitment and i needed moral boost, also i was kinda hoping someone would have a review of it Q3Q
jax-fandango replied to your post“I’m gonna buy that pink bondage set for super cheap I’ll let you guys…”
Why?
bc i’ve always wanted it (like for maybe a good year now) and bc why not :0
I like bdsm, I thought this was common knowledge oOPs

floofie:

So I haven’t mentioned it, and probably no one is awake, but a few weeks ago I made the comic web page for my monster comic which will appropriately be called Monster Milk. It’s rated 16+ for reasons explained on the about page and there are also extras set up. This comic will be way more casual than I intend for Ambrosia to be, but it will also come out first. Idk how long it will be, I already have a plot set up, it may have different seasons/sagas after the first plot line, and there will be mini series between each chapter/break.

The comic will update once a week, and I was going to have a big 7 page release just like Ambrosia, but I’ve just decided that (because it’s more casual) I will just let you guys know when the first page is up. Because of this, please bear with it for the first few pages. I’d like to keep the uploads at one page a week with the occasional 2 page weeks, but because I want to get these first 8 pages out of the way quickly, the updates might come in a less static manner. Aside from all of that, I’ll reblog this again tomorrow with a link to the tumblr comic page. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I’m sry idk what happened with the last one, here’s the blog

floofie:

floofie:

floofie:

I’m gonna buy that pink bondage set for super cheap I’ll let you guys know how that goes.

i chickened out

I’M SO UNSURE I’VE WANTED IT FOR SO LONG AND NOW I’M FINDING IT FOR SO CHEAP BUT I JUST WANT A PERSONAL REVIEW OR VIDEO OF IT BEFORE I GET IT BUT NOOOOTHING

I MEAN I CAN SEND IT BACK AND GET A FULL REFUND (I just have to pay shipping) BUT LIKE WHAT DO I DOOOO HELP